This weekend we continued our talk about faith and focused on the life of Mary the mother of Jesus (it was mother's day after all! Guys if you are just now realizing that, it's too late:). During his talk, Pastor Tom talked about the guilt we can feel as parents over how our children turn out which I think is something important for those of us who are parents to consider. We usually take the following verse as a promise or formula of how to get our kids to turn out right:
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
By reading that verse it seems like all we have to do is the right training for our kids and they will turn out great. If our kids don't turn out great or get into trouble in life, then obviously there is something wrong with the parents training, right?
Well not really (thankfully)! Pastor Tom pointed out three things about that passage:
1. In this world, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. This proverb is not about guaranteeing your kids will turn out perfectly if you're perfect, nor is it about blaming yourself for the fact you are less than perfect. We live in an imperfect world.
2. In heaven, there is a perfect parent. God's actions towards us are always perfect. Yet, look at how many of His children have turned away from that love. It started in the garden of Eden! If God's perfect love towards us cannot guarantee that none of his children will ever fall away, how can we put that burden on our parenting? Kids have free will and can choose to do the wrong thing even if they know what the right thing to do is.
3. This proverb is not an individual promise but a universal principle. It is saying that 9 times out of ten if you teach a child the right thing they will end up doing the right thing. Sometimes it takes a while to sink in (it says when they are OLD they will not depart from it).
So we don't need to beat ourselves up as parents or tell ourselves that our teachings are wasted if our kids are not following them. None of the things we teach our kids are wasted. It just means they are not yet applying them but one day they may start. I don't know about you but it is a relief to know that the things I am trying to teach my kids are things they may use later in life even if they don't seem to "get it" or want to follow it now.
To help you understand how to train your child we have resources here at Saddleback Church like our parenting classes and to help you with your marriage in the parenting years, we have a class for Parents of K-5 kids (TOMORROW NIGHT) and one for New Parents just starting out. Check the Events Calendar for future classes and resources.
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