Faith Walk

Faith is one of those things I think we develop as we step out into it. A friend shared this insight with me the other day; “Maybe sometimes God keeps us in the dark not so much because He wants us to stay there, but because he knows at the present moment we are incapable of absorbing so much light.”

Two years ago God called me to serve people from a patio table at Saddleback San Clemente High School. I had survived a divorce, single parenthood, private education expenses for my child and had made a name for myself over the past decade carving out a profitable slice of the Day Spa industry from the successful office of my Wellness Center located in Laguna Niguel. The economy was good. I was busy constantly learning new things and reinventing my products and services to meet the needs of my clientele. I somehow managed to stay one step ahead of the marketplace in my daily striving.

I would say I’ve known Christ all my life- but I would say it was really through my divorce that I developed a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and I incorporated that relationship into my philosophy and business practice. I also felt Christ was calling me personally to Him over the years but I had no idea what He had in mind! (This is the “keeping me in the dark for my own good” part.)

I had volunteered for years at the Lake Forest campus and I didn’t hesitate to make it known I was ready to help at the new regional campus coming to San Clemente. I spent my first year volunteering at the prayer table and working with the women’s ministry. Then I was asked if I would be willing to join the Saddleback family as a part time employee working with the Small Group Community. After prayerful consideration, I said yes. Within a month it was clear to my heart what God was calling me to do out of obedience and in faith. Part time was not enough time to accomplish what I felt God had placed before me to do at Saddleback. After discussing the options with my husband, I made plans to sell my business so that I could be available full time for ministry. The nice profit from my business sale was going to support me through the volunteer hours I felt I was being called to serve.
 
The economy was good and the profit from the sale should have been high. The sale of my business was the BIGGEST step of obedient faith I have ever been called to take in my life. But, there was no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. From a business perspective I took a hard hit in a great economy. There was no logical reason to walk away the way I did other than God wanted me and He wanted me then. I was truly committing the work of my hands to kingdom building and there was no looking back.

Two years into my decision, I still face tests of faith. I can’t buy the fancy cloths I used to buy, I won’t be able to replace the designer shoes I used to wear and I am learning to cut back in a million different ways. My husband tells me that he feels so blessed in it all because he is serving the kingdom by taking care of me! Who wouldn’t want to be loved like that? I’m still me, the Orange County girl who likes dressing up and nice things but I realize that unless someone wants to donate a new closet full of goodies to me, that I am going to just have to trust in faith that God is going to replace the joy of having those things in my closet, with the joy of participating in a missions trip to the Philippines or the inspiration I get from the seminary classes I am now working my way through.

God seems to give me just what I need at the end of each month. I’m learning to say; “Thank you. Yes, I’ll accept your help” and “No thank you, I can’t do that anymore”. But I know that the place God is leading me is so much brighter than any path I could have created on my own. In hindsight, I am not sure my business would have been able to stay ahead of this current market downturn anyway. Looking back I wonder if God was really protecting me all along but He just wanted me to think is was all my idea to follow after Him. That is the kind of loving God we serve.

I think that’s just how faith works. You have to step into it and somehow it ends up saving you! Hang on or step in my friends. Either way, faith works!

Blessings
~Cynthia