Running Into Love

Seven months into their marriage, Scott and Sarah Keating still can’t stop smiling. Their road to the altar didn’t come without a few surprises and bumps, but it was an impromptu marathon – and a particular book – brought them together.

Before meeting Scottie, Sarah had been in an unhealthy dating relationship. The heartache she experienced caused her to drift away from God and church for a while. In what she described as a “godsend,” Sarah connected with Saddleback pastors Chris and Tina Reed. Tina, who has a passion for mentoring young women, spent time with Sarah who began to open up about her past relationship. Tina suggested she read the book Boundaries in Dating, encouraging Sarah to set healthy boundaries in her future relationships. Sarah was encouraged by the book’s practical yet powerful principles.

Scott came from a broken home, each of his parents having married several times. His mother raised him on her own and often took him to church. He got involved in the high school youth group but as an adult stopped going to church and lived his single life to the fullest during his 20’s.

“My father always encouraged me to date the most beautiful girls,” Scott said. “I looked up to him, so I took his advice.” He began dating girls from broken homes and with broken lives, trying to rescue them, which led to many relationship problems. He moved to Orange County in 2008 and began attending Saddleback Church with a friend. Soon, he got involved in several ministries and found male leaders who mentored him and showed him what it looked like to be a man of God. Scott began to re-think his future—he wanted a wife and kids someday, but he knew that started by doing things God’s way.

One night, Sarah was up late surfing the web. On a whim, she signed up to run a half marathon in Santa Barbara and then recruited several friends from church to join her. A mutual friend suggested that Scott join the running group and Scott and Sarah, just acquaintances at the time, began running together.    

“In his sweet, gentle, confident way, Scott began pursuing me,” Sarah said with a smile. Scott would show up to run when the others in the group were unavailable, giving him the opportunity to get to know Sarah better. The two began a friendship, and eventually, Scott asked Sarah out, but she declined.

“I told him I thought he was a great guy and that I enjoyed our time together, but that I was not in a place in my life where I was open to begin dating,” Sarah said. “I felt I still had a lot of work to do on myself.”

During the apologetics weekend at Saddleback two years ago, Scott, Sarah and several other friends decided to make a mini-retreat out of the weekend. They bunked up at Scott’s house, the girls staying in one room and the guys in the other. On the second day of the ‘retreat’, Sarah wandered out of her room and discovered Scott in his living room reading Boundaries in Dating, the very book she’d been reading. They learned they’d started reading the book at the very same time. They began discussing the book, and this led to some great conversations . . . and to their first date.

“I swore it was not a date,” Sarah laughed. “I insisted on paying for myself.”

But despite her initial protests, the two began dating. When their relationship grew more serious, they began to go through pre-engagement counseling to work through their past struggles openly and honestly. Scott realized he had trouble opening up about his parents’ divorces. There were difficult conversations and times when they wondered if they’d be able to make it through the various obstacles, but they walked the healing process together and kept communication at the forefront of their relationship.

In October 2013, Scott took Sarah up to Big Bear for the day. Both nature lovers, the couple looked forward to spending time outdoors and riding bikes. Though Scott promised he had no surprises in store for her, he managed to surprise her with a beautiful proposal, to which she said yes. They went through pre-marital counseling and got married in April of this year.

“People always say to marry your best friend, and Scott is my best friend,” Sarah said. “It sounds corny, but it’s true. We built a friendship first, and everything else followed.”

When asked what advice they’d like to share with those hoping to get married, Scott and Sarah had several nuggets of wisdom. Scott believes the support of close friends is important. “When you are dating, it’s so important to not pull apart from people who support you.”

Sarah agreed. “When we were dating, our peers got to see us together and see us progress in our relationship.”

Sarah also added that contentment during singleness is very important as well. “Find contentment where you are. If you want to be married, God knows that. He has already written your story out. Be content with yourself first, and don’t look for someone to complete you. Only God can complete you. Your mate will be a friend and companion who will walk through life with you, but if you look to them to complete you, you will set yourself up for failure.”

Scott added, “We are all selfish creatures by nature. If you are single and just want to do things on your own time, don’t get into a relationship or get married.”

Above all, the couple encourages those looking to get married to stay in community, stay in communication, and of course, stay focused on God. “This was the first relationship in which we did things God’s way,” Sarah said. The couple chose to wait until they were married to have sex, something they both felt strongly about. Their decision shocked a few people, but they held on to their beliefs.

They look forward to the future, and they will always cherish the friendship that ultimately led them to true love.

Click here to learn more about premarital counseling at Saddleback.