The Prodigal Spouse

Jeanette Johnson grew up dreaming about having a “happily ever after” life. But after being raised in a family plagued with sexual abuse, marital affairs, and deceit, she left her own marriage for another man and nearly lost the hope of making her dream a reality.

In her adult life, Jeanette longed for the healthy, happy family of her own that she had never experienced growing up. However, she and her husband Carey had no idea how to have a joyful marriage. Although Carey became a Christian at the age of 18, he never shared that experience or his relationship in Christ with her. Jeanette gradually became miserable and began to despise her husband.     

Without forgiveness and a willingness to work on her marriage, Jeanette opened the door to sin. Attracted to the director of the preschool her children attended, she applied for a job at the preschool and soon found herself engrossed in an affair. Two months into the secret relationship, Jeanette and the director each separated from their spouses to be together.   

One thing that stood out to Jeanette when pursuing the director was that he was a Christian. After the two began to date publicly, they began attending church services together. She had no interest in Christianity itself, but observed that the types of happy “normal” families that she desired would attend church. With that, she thought that dating a church-goer was the first step to finding a happy marriage. Jeanette and the director began attending Saddleback together during the “40 Days of Marriage” series. Instead of using the marriage series as a tool to work on her own marriage, Jeanette simply planned to utilize what she learned in a future new marriage with the director.

Jeanette never once questioned the morals of her new boyfriend who claimed to be a Christian as he committed adultery. Instead, she continually meditated on her dream of the two of them ending up together. Whenever she would pick up her children from her husband’s home, he would plead with her, heartbroken and weeping on his knees, to take him back. Knowing that she was hurting her husband and her children was irritating and insignificant to Jeanette, because her happiness was the only thing that mattered to her. The focus was solely on her alone, and it did not matter how her decisions were affecting those who loved her.

One evening, as Jeanette was driving home with her children asleep in the backseat, Carrie Underwood’s song, “Jesus Take the Wheel,” came on the radio. As she listened to the lyrics, “she saw both their lives flash before her eyes … she cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock … and for the first time in a long time, she bowed her head to pray,” Jeanette fell apart. Suddenly, she saw her double life — the life with her husband and the life with the man she had left him for. She remembered the affairs and abuse in her childhood, and she realized she couldn’t and didn’t want to walk the road alone. Jeanette knew that she needed Jesus. That night when she got home, she knelt and prayed for the first time. Sobbing, she begged Jesus to rewrite her path and take control of her wheel. She apologized for her sins and asked to be his child. At times, she would try to get up from her knees, but God kept pushing her back down until a sense of peace washed over her and she completely released all control to him.

The very next day, Jeanette received a call from the director telling her that on the way to sign his divorce papers, God touched his heart and told him to go back to his wife. Jeanette was terminated from her position at the preschool, and her kids were kicked out as well. Jeanette was angry. God had redirected her path as she had asked him to do, but his plan was completely different than hers. Even as she prayed, Jeanette still wanted a happily ever after ending with the director.

With no one left to turn to, Jeanette went back to the man she had left: her husband Carey. He welcomed her with gracious loving arms, and without judgment or anger. “We’ll get through this,” he told her. “We will get through this.” All this time, Carey had been following and trusting God, and he had nothing but love and forgiveness for the wife who had left him.

Jeanette and Carey agreed to let God take control and to trust and follow him together. They had learned that a happy marriage is a Godly marriage. As their relationship with God grew, their marriage strengthened and they grew closer to each other. With marriage counseling, spiritual growth classes, and an abundance of Saddleback marriage seminars, Jeanette and Carey grew back together. They were baptized together as a public declaration of how Jesus had changed their lives once they let him in.  

Today, Jeanette and Carey continue to grow in their faith and in their love for one another. They prioritize God in their marriage by making him first and each other second. After a long journey, Jeanette’s return home got her the “happily ever after” she’d longed for. And because it was God’s happily ever after too, it was far beyond anything she ever dreamed.

To learn more about free marriage counseling at Saddleback Church, email churchcounseling@saddleback.com.