Carrying God's Mercy into the Darkness

Any teenager trying to live on their own would face significant difficulties. Adding to 17-year-old Shawndra’s challenge was a son to provide for as well.  Although Shawndra’s mother claimed to accept her and her newborn son, her actions reflected otherwise as she continued to criticize and belittle Shawndra for becoming pregnant outside of marriage.

To escape the constant condemnation, she asked to move in with her father. Shawndra’s dad seemed agreeable to the idea, but her stepmother didn’t want their lives disrupted with a crying baby during the night. “I didn't feel wanted or welcomed at my mom's house or my dad's house, so I felt my only option was to be out on my own,” recalls Shawndra. “I didn't want to live with people that didn't want me to live with them.”

But living on her own required money, money that Shawndra didn’t have. “I was a 17-year-old single mom living in a Section 8 Housing apartment in a bad neighborhood south of Detroit,” said Shawndra. “I could hear gunshots and watch drug deals happening. I realized I had to get out of there because it was no place to raise a child. Her goals were simple. Shawndra needed a job and reliable transportation. She wanted to find a house with a yard. “I was just going for what many moms dream about — having a backyard with a swing set for my son.”

With a bit of reluctance, Shawndra began working as a waitress in a strip club to support herself. “I started off waitressing thinking ‘I could never dance onstage at the club’. I would just work there until I could find a better place to live,” rationalized Shawndra.  “But then I saw how much money I could make by doing the other side of the business.” The lure of easy money and pressure from the club’s management finally became too much. She hesitantly agreed to become an on-stage dancer. Shawndra spoke about the slow transition from disapproval to acceptance, “I started to feel numb when I was in the club environment. Since I went there day after day after day, it didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. You just become used to it. I became immune.”

Over a period of 7 years, dancing became a way of life for Shawndra with VIP and local celebrity status. Patrons would give her presents of jewelry, trips, and cash; she was able to buy a new house and a new car. “Once I was in that lifestyle, I had to maintain it. There was a mortgage to be paid and a car payment. I was trapped.” She talked herself into believing a flawed rationale for staying on stage; “It could take up to a month at a normal job to make the kind of money I was making in one night at the clubs.” 

But deep down Shawndra knew right from wrong, and a persistent feeling of uneasiness kept rising to the surface. “I always had this feeling that I really didn’t want to be doing what I was doing. I knew right from wrong. I grew up going to church. I knew all about God, about Jesus and the Bible, and I believed in God. I never quit believing in Him,” explained Shawndra. “I just wasn’t living for Him.” 

The pit in her stomach wouldn’t go away so she began reaching out to God for help. “I began by saying short, casual prayers: ‘Lord, give me a way out.’ I knew I wanted to live for God, but I also knew that wasn’t possible with the kind of job I had.” Shawndra continued to pray, “Lord, give me a different job where I can take care of my child and have money to pay for health insurance.” She asked God to bring a Christian man into her life.  Her heart yearned for the stability and security of a normal life; a life where she and her husband would live for God, raise a family, and go to church together.

Not long afterward, Shawndra found the support and courage to walk away from the strip club. She met Matt, who was also looking for a fresh start in life. Matt empathized with Shawndra and encouraged her as she sought to escape the club. Matt believed in Shawndra. “He reminded me daily; you can do this, you’re smart, you’re better than this lifestyle. I hadn’t had anyone in my life for a long time telling me that I could do something.” She committed to getting back into the church and began her new life. When she was trapped in a dark situation, God mercifully provided her a way out. Today, Shawndra shares a life with Matt, her husband, and their four children.

Though she had moved on in life, Shawndra felt compassion towards other girls stuck in that environment. She pictured herself, standing in front of these trapped women, able to reach out her hand to help them. Shawndra knew if she could share her story and meet them where they’re at in the clubs they could find the support and courage they need to get out. Her experience positioned her to help the girls who need it most.

Shawndra formed the Charisma Ministry at Saddleback Church and now uses her experience to mentor young women. The Charisma Ministry is a support system of women who reach out to girls in strip clubs. They offer help writing resumes and locating new job opportunities – important first steps out of this destructive lifestyle. “The industry is filled with drugs, pornography, and co-dependent relationships,” explained Shawndra. “But when a girl tries to exit, it’s so hard because there are so many hurdles. With a new young girl, there’s always a honeymoon phase. They think it’s all glamour and glitz and then reality hits, and it’s not so glamorous after all. Satan has a way of packaging all these things – money and celebrity status – to make it seem wonderful. But it’s not.”

Serving in this ministry is not for everyone due to the late night hours, but Shawndra feels convicted about her role. “I felt called by the Lord. While I kept running from my past, it kept falling in my lap. I realized God wanted me to use my past to help others. I may lose some sleep, but I just may help someone change their eternal destination.” What started as one woman’s struggle has now turned into an entire group of women who are sharing God’s mercy with those in need through the church. With heartfelt compassion, she summarizes her devotedness with this thought, “I’m doing for all these girls what I wish someone would have done for me.”

Click HERE to learn more about the Charisma Ministry at Saddleback. The book Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers, is the recommended reading to prepare your heart for serving in this ministry.