Keeping the Marriage Alive

Barbara and Larry met at the age of seventeen, while they worked in Huntington Beach at a hotdog stand called Wienerschnitzel. Soon after, they began dating.  They got married when Barbara was three months pregnant at the age of eighteen. By the time they were twenty-two, they had three children.

Being a young couple, they were looking to learn from influences around them and those influences weren’t always positive.  The men Larry worked with were his dad’s age and he looked up to them, and a couple of them even became mentors to Larry as they taught him all the skills he needed to become a successful car salesman. But these men turned out to be a terrible influence to this young, vulnerable husband and father. Larry started going out to bars with his fellow salesmen to celebrate each time they sold a car. All the late nights out with his coworkers only led to fights between the young couple. 

Larry promised to end this habit, but each night the pattern would repeat. Within a year Larry became an alcoholic. Having three children at the young age of twenty-two, along with financial stress, they fought constantly. Each subsequent fight kept tearing them further apart.  Because of this, Barbara and Larry felt distant from each other. Their marriage was very unstable, their hearts were hurting and they needed help. They felt so alone. Larry decided to leave his family and go back to his hometown in Arizona. He left Barbara and their two sons to fend for themselves in Huntington Beach. 

Barbara came from an abusive home, so she did not feel she could go to her parents for help. When Larry had disappeared, Barbara fell into a deep depression. She felt so alone and she just wanted to give up on life. A woman in their apartment complex introduced herself to Barbara and invited her over for tea. That evening, while visiting with her neighbor Barbara saw a Billy Graham crusade on television. She heard for the first time that Jesus loved her and had died for her. Her neighbor led her in prayer to accept Jesus into her heart. Barbara never saw this woman again and has often wondered if she could have been an angel sent by God.  Immediately, Barbara began praying that God would save their marriage and that Larry would accept Jesus into his heart. What Barbara at the time didn't realize was that God was working behind the scenes to bring Larry to his knees.   

Two weeks later, Larry reappeared. He promised that he would quit drinking and that he wanted to start a new life in Arizona.  He described a wonderful life and a home with a white picket fence. It felt as if Barbara’s prayers had been answered. She agreed to move from California to Arizona with Larry and their children. Unfortunately, what Larry promised did not happen. He still drank heavily and things got worse, not better. Larry hit rock bottom when he ended up getting arrested for driving while intoxicated. After Larry’s arrest, he got a job as a tow truck driver at the towing company that towed his car the night he got arrested. Larry’s new boss invited Larry and his family to his church, and soon after Larry accepted Jesus into his heart.

Wanting to move his family back to Barbara’s hometown, Larry got a job in Huntington Beach. As the years passed, their family faced many crises in their lives.  Helping their children navigate tough situations and financial hardship exposed their relationship to new conflicts. As the struggles intensified Larry and Barbara realized that they had fallen away from God. They joined Saddleback Church and rededicated their marriage and themselves to Jesus. Through God's strength and the influence at Saddleback Church, they got through their difficult times. 

When Saddleback Church launched a new ministry called Lay Counseling Training, Barbara and Larry signed up.  After the initial training they started counseling couples. Larry and Barbara loved helping couples heal their marriages. However, they were saddened that Saddleback didn't have a ministry to prevent marriage problems; where couples could learn valuable tools for their marriage before they damaged their relationship.  As they continued to counsel couples at Saddleback Church, Barbara spent the next ten years reading and researching hundreds of books on marriages.  Pastor Rick's words that he said quite often would resonate with her, striking a chord in her heart. "If you have an idea for a ministry in our church, you are it."

In the summer of 2000, Larry and Barbara attended an inspiring Saddleback Church leadership retreat in San Diego.  At the retreat, Pastor Rick shared that God has plans for his followers to use the gifts he gave them for his kingdom. Yet, there were barriers such as fear, anger and resentment preventing them from fulfilling God's desire for their lives. He challenged the attendees to search their hearts and make a commitment to God that they they would do what God wanted in their lives.  Then, be willing to write down what those barriers were that were preventing them from doing God's will and nail that piece of paper to the cross. That day, they nailed their worries and fears to that cross, but they didn’t fully know what their next step would be. 

A short while later, God laid it on Barbara’s heart to take what she got from hundreds of books she read and researched, along with the experiences of couples counseling for ten years and write a marriage workshop. She felt like God was telling her that if she wrote the workshop, many couples would come get needed help.  She remembered the commitment she made in 2000, so she started writing. With Larry by her side, they designed the Keeping the Marriage Alive curriculum.

The first Keeping the Marriage Alive workshop launched in September 2001. During the last sixteen years, the workshop has grown to fifteen different workshops. They covered many topics to help couples including: valuing personalities, love languages, communication skills, healthy conflict resolution, healthy boundaries, and how to grow closer through crisis. Anything they could teach to help couples develop a lasting love.

Thousands of couples have attended their fun and inspiring workshop, helping them build stronger marriages.  As Larry and Barbara celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary this year, they dream that God will continue to use them to help marriages thrive and flourish.

Click HERE if you'd like to learn more about the Keeping the Marriage Alive workshops.