From Lukewarm to Daring

Candice Appleby watched as the waves rose and crashed down. Her thoughts twisted and rattled against what she knew she must do — what she was being called to do. She had known failure from a past abusive relationship, she had known recovery from those wounds and she knew of the mighty strength of God. As a professional paddle boarder, Candice experienced many hardships and even more temptations. Time and time again she felt pulled away from taking a step of daring faith toward God because of her relationships. She knew deep down what she needed to do.

Being a professional paddle-boarder was Candice’s identity. After being bullied when she was younger, Candice finally found her strength by excelling in this sport. Despite all of the glory that paddle boarding brought her, she knew that something was missing when she would return home to her boyfriend after a day spent training. He didn’t love God the way she did. “I realized that if I am going to have someone in my life, I need someone who loves God more than they love me. And I need to make sure I put God first in my life.”

The difficult journey of aligning herself with God’s will began at the beach where she met Adam, a man who wasn’t afraid to share his love for God with her. He began to share his journey with Candice. When Adam was a professional beach volleyball player, he didn’t have a relationship with God. But, because of injuries from his being a professional athlete it caused his career to spiral downward. Adam lost his identity, filling his life with partying and drinking. Candice explained, “He was trying to fill a God-sized hole.” Only when Adam hit rock bottom did he embrace God’s love. Adam started attending Saddleback Rancho Capistrano and began the path to sobriety by going to Celebrate RecoveryⓇ (CR).

“In the moment he shared his story with me, we became friends. At the time, I didn’t have a person who I could openly talk to about God — something I needed.” Their friendship grew and Candice’s faith became stronger. She felt convicted to change her life after her visits with Adam when she went home to her live-in boyfriend of four years. She felt stuck. She would read a sign hung on her bathroom wall from Psalm 37:4 “Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” The message saddened her since she longed to be married to a Christian man and raise a Christ-centered family. She wanted a man who loved Christ more than her. A man who would raise his hands during church. Her boyfriend at the time wasn’t and couldn’t be that man.

As Candice tried to ignore that conviction, she started playing volleyball with Adam and introduced her boyfriend to him. Adam and Candice were growing as friends and wanted him to be more a part of her life.  But when Adam found out that they were living together he made a playful comment to Candice. It was a joke that Candice said echoed “as a little bit of accountability. He said it really quiet but I heard it super loud.”  

As Adam and Candice’s friendship grew, she realized what a Christ-centered friendship meant. They didn’t see each other as anything else other than friends and he showed to her with his friendship what true strength in Christ meant. One day, Adam brought Candice and her boyfriend a small group study. He wanted her to start a small group study with another Christian couple.

In that moment her heart sank. Her boyfriend wasn’t interested in the study, and they didn’t have any Christian friends to even form a small group. She was finally ready to sacrifice the life she knew for her faith. She finally was going to put God above everything else in her life.

“I remember I was with Adam on a Tuesday and I told him ‘I’m sick of being lukewarm.’ And if I’m going to have a guy in my life I need a man who loves God more than he loves me.” He sat and prayed with me, took his glasses off and looked me in the eye and said, “You’re not married, Candice. You’re not married.” I needed another human to say that I wasn’t married and to give me that extra strength and conviction to break up with my live-in boyfriend. I knew I could do it. The following day, that Wednesday, I broke up with the man who was weighing me down and it was hard. I told him that I couldn’t be his god anymore.”

Adam knew that was a big step for Candice. The next few weeks would be harder still. So he invited her to come to the Saturday night service at the Rancho Capistrano campus. She decided she also wanted to bring her dad, who influenced her faith as a child. That Saturday driving on to the campus, she was struck by how beautiful it was. She felt God compelling her to make this her church home. She started attending Saddleback Rancho Capistrano more frequently with Adam. She was recalled her feelings about the Rancho Capistrano.

“I remember sitting there in church— my dad was on one side of me and Adam on the other with his arms raised in worship. I started realizing something was happening. I didn’t see him as anything else as my Christian brother and he didn’t see me as anything other than his Christian sister who wanted to protect me.”

God was changing both their hearts and they started seeing each other as more than just friends. It was something that started as a friendship and grew into something more without either of them realizing what was happening. “God was doing something and I didn’t see it coming,” Candice said.

Candice knew God wasn’t finished with her just yet. She wanted escape the bondage of her past so she started attending CR at Rancho.

Candice recalls her experience coming home from a Celebrate Recovery meeting and thinking, “I always knew I would die young. I just didn’t know what that meant until a few months ago.” It was a profound moment that meant she was surrendering her life entirely to God. She was dying to herself and letting God have control.

God was preparing Candice to use her talents and skills in a big way as a professional athlete. Not for her victories but to share her love of Christ through her big wins.

“I don’t have the same fear I once had. My placement as an athlete doesn’t determine my worth or my identity because it doesn’t matter what I do or what place I’m in—my identity is in Jesus. That gives me peace and confidence, and gives me a new motivation to win.” After each win she gives all the glory and victory to God.

“I want to be able to shine my light for Him,” Candice says. “I want to get the opportunity to share with people why I believe and where my strength came from. And how I could falter during a race and yet come back with a victory. I share what I’ve been through and I’m not afraid or ashamed anymore to say I have some pain but I look at the resurrection power of Jesus and how he has healed me. My relationship with Christ is my Identity and I’m set free.”

Click HERE to learn more about Celebrate Recovery at Saddleback Church.

Photo by Greg Panas