A Veteran's Hope

Six years ago, Darren McKinley hit rock bottom. A veteran of the Gulf War, Darren had come to the end of himself. His marriage was in shambles, he’d lost his home, and he was defeated by chronic illnesses and debilitating pain. Most days, he could hardly get out of bed. Thoughts of suicide entered his mind. He had all but given up on life when things took a radical turn. And for the first time in years, Darren finally found hope.

A Christian his entire life, Darren joined the U.S. Navy in 1994 and served during the Gulf War. He then returned to the States, where he began attending Saddleback Church and met his wife. Eager to serve, Darren volunteered to flip pancakes for the motel ministry. Always somewhat reserved, he remained content in the background, never seeing himself as a leader. But God had bigger plans.

In 2010, Darren began experiencing many serious health problems, including extreme fatigue, autoimmune issues, cancer, persistent pain, and neck problems. Once an avid body builder, mountain biker and scuba diver, he could no longer enjoy the things he loved. Unable to work, Darren struggled to provide for his wife and young daughter. Depression sank in, along with self pity. Tension grew at home, and he and his wife discussed separation. Darren was in such bad shape his wife did not have the heart to ask him to leave.

Darren fell into despair. Lonely and tired of sitting at home, he contemplated suicide. “I was very unhappy,” he admitted. “I felt like a drain on my family.”

Upon doing research, Darren learned about Gulf War Syndrome, a health condition affecting many veterans who’d served in the Gulf War. A friend suggested he file for veteran benefits, and Darren began the painstaking process. Five years after he applied, he got approved.

With income and medical care from his disability benefits, Darren grew hopeful again. In late 2011, while attending a Saddleback Church service, Darren heard Pastor Rick Warren discuss neighborhood outreaches. Figuring it might be a nice distraction from his troubles, Darren signed up to serve veterans. He and a small group visited the Long Beach VA Hospital and spoke with the volunteer coordinator, who put them in touch with a local veteran family in need. The group decided to adopt the family for Christmas, blessing them with gifts, love and a set of four new car tires. The family was blown away, as was Darren. This means something, he realized. This is important.

Realizing Saddleback did not have a veterans support group or outreach ministry, Darren prayed about starting one. “I am not outspoken,” Darren said. “I knew God would have to bring the right people. I wanted to be used, but I also knew my limitations.”

By mid 2012, the group began its first meetings. Though the group started with just a handful of people, it proved just what Darren needed. He met veterans of all backgrounds who shared similar stories and struggles, and he saw he was not alone. He found hope. The depression began to lift, replaced by a newfound peace. At last, he had purpose and a place to belong – something he hadn’t enjoyed in a very long time.

At home, things improved, and Darren’s wife noticed a change in his heart. They attended marital counseling, and their relationship grew stronger again. “I had some major roadblocks in my life,” he admitted. “They were mountains.” As he began opening up to his new friends in the veterans group, he found encouragement and unconditional love.

Six years later, the Veterans Ministry and Support Group is still going strong. Every Wednesday evening, veterans of all ages and backgrounds meet at church. Both women and men are welcome. They pray, study the Bible, tell their stories and encourage one another. There is no judgment – only grace. “If someone isn’t feeling well and can’t make it, we call to check in on them. Knowing people are praying means so much,” Darren said. Sometimes, he is the one in need of prayer. When his chronic fatigue flares up and he can’t attend a meeting, he knows prayer and support is just a phone call away.

Darren recognizes that veterans face specific challenges unique to their circumstances. Many who return from combat battle PTS, or posttraumatic stress. Many find themselves unable to work due to health conditions. Many find it difficult to acclimate to civilian life after leaving the service. Many miss the camaraderie they enjoyed in the service. Loneliness and discouragement sometimes become their only companions. Veterans have been taught to be tough and invincible, so they often hesitate to reach out for help. That’s why Darren believes this ministry is so important.

“Statistics show that 22 veterans commit suicide every day in America,” Darren said. “One out of four homeless people in Orange County is a veteran. There’s a lot of baggage that comes with military combat.”

Along with regular support meetings, the Veterans Ministry enjoys a community outreach each quarter. On one occasion, ministry volunteers built a Victory Garden for a local veteran. They brought supplies to the house and constructed several planter boxes. The project proved especially meaningful for the veteran’s family. Volunteers also visit bedbound veterans at the VA hospital, offering prayer, encouragement and care packages. “We thank them for their service and spend time talking with them. They see we really care,” said Darren.  

Today, thanks to the Veterans Ministry at Saddleback Church, Darren is no longer isolated, lonely and depressed. God has restored his marriage and his finances. Two years ago, his wife quit her job and became self employed. Darren’s veteran benefits help supplement the family’s income and provide for all of his medical needs. Thanks to the veterans group, he has changed his behavior and outlook on life, and his marriage is stronger than ever.

“In 2010, I had given up,” he admitted. “I thought I had no purpose in life. Now, I have learned to love myself and reflect that love onto my wife.”

Though not free of his physical ailments, Darren’s new perspective on life helps him get through even the toughest days.  Part of that perspective comes with accepting his circumstances. “I’ve had to untangle my old views and accept that this is my life,” he said.

Since attending the Veterans Support Group, Darren has seen many miracles, not just in his own life, but in others. “One man began attending church again because of the veterans group,” he said. “That was pretty miraculous.” Darren found his own miracle when a burning, neuropathic pain vanished after years. The group prayed for him, and the pain disappeared.

This past summer proved to be one of the best in his life. He rode bikes with his family, went to Disneyland and enjoyed the everyday outdoor activities he’d once loved. “I have so much to be thankful for,” he said. “I could focus on what I can’t do anymore, but instead I focus on all the things I can do. I’ve learned to give everything over to God. He is always there and always has been.”

For Darren, life looks a lot different than it did six years ago. Through the support group, he has found an unbreakable bond with other veterans. “I’d love for more veterans to learn about this ministry,” he said. “I want them to know we are really just a fellowship of great Christian people. These are some of the most encouraging folks you’ll ever meet. We were once comrades in the military, and now we are soldiers for Christ. My Christian comrades will help me to never go through that isolation and despair again.”

Click HERE to learn more about the Veteran’s ministry at Saddleback Church.