A Love So Powerful
01/13/2018 .When Natalia and Randall got married, one decision was easy — they wanted to have children together. Randall had two children from a prior marriage, and the newlyweds deeply desired to eventually create their own bundle of joy.
To help them understand and conquer the challenges of blending their family, they joined Saddleback’s Stepfamily Life Ministry. “This was very crucial to our development as parents,” explained Natalia. “We met couples facing the same challenges we were, learned a great deal through the classes, and joined a small group inside the ministry.”
The family’s bond grew tighter, but Natalia soon discovered a new challenge awaited — infertility. Natalia prayed and waited. Months turned into years, but her prayer remained consistent: “God, bless my desire to be pregnant.”
Over five years of infertility, the grind of appointments with doctors and specialists caused persistent heartache. Prolonged stretches of waiting and multiple medical appointments tested their faith. Natalia and Randall tried IUI (intrauterine insemination) treatments and a round of in vitro fertilization. Both failed. “I felt I was always waiting for the miracle I was begging God for on a daily basis,” Natalia said. The couple’s hope sank further when doctors couldn’t diagnose the cause of Natalia’s infertility. They invited God into their pain, hoping he would mend the brokenness they felt. But all they experienced was grief. “It was a long, agonizing journey,” Natalia explained. “We wanted to beat back the odds, the frustration, the fear, the pain. God whispered to me that it was okay not to be okay, to not feel strong, to carry this brokenness. Finally, I was able to get down on my knees and tell God, ‘If a pregnancy is not your will, please change my desire.’”
Natalia and Randall began looking into other options. Randall attended a Saddleback Exploring Adoption or Foster Care for My Family seminar, which opened his mind to the potential of foster care. But after attending a county meeting on fostering, Randall changed his mind. Natalia didn’t have a strong desire to foster children, either — her heart was set on adoption.
To help them sort through their feelings, the couple attended Saddleback’s Embracing Hope retreat at the Rancho Capistrano campus. The overnight event was specifically focused on walking alongside couples who are traveling the painful and often-lonely road of infertility.
“I went searching for hope,” Natalia explained, “since mine was exquisitely fragile. Between sessions, I had the opportunity to talk to other participants. As I explained my concerns about stepparenting, my pain regarding infertility, and my fears about foster care, a very compassionate woman asked me a poignant question: ‘Who better to nurture foster children than someone like you who cares for and understands the complicated dynamics of a stepfamily?’ That was the turning point for me. The only problem was, I was afraid to tell my husband I’d consider fostering.”
God continued his gentle nudging. One evening during his quiet time, Randall read James 1:27, which in part talks about caring for orphans. When he shared this reaffirmation of fostering with Natalia, she revealed to Randall that God had changed her heart and she was ready to move toward foster-to-adopt. “I had to examine my heart,” she said. “I wanted to make sure my motives were pure — that I wanted to start the foster-to-adopt process because I could help a child, not out of my selfish desire to fill my empty arms. It took a long time for my heart to change, but the retreat turned me in the direction of fostering to adopt.”
As they explored foster care agencies, Randall remembered a dream he had early in their marriage in which God revealed they would have twins. “We always thought the twins would come out of IVF treatments, but in faith, we asked the agency to certify us to accept twins. The agency was initially resistant, explaining the chances of getting twin babies was close to zero. But we stepped out in faith by purchasing everything needed for twins — two car seats, two cribs, and two of everything else.”
The agency had many requirements for potential foster parents. Natalia and Randall felt God leading them every step of the journey. They crammed the necessary classes into their schedules, arranged their house for more children, and scheduled the required health examinations.
After a series of routine tests, the doctors discovered Randall had a rare type of blood cancer. He was admitted to the hospital on the verge of a heart attack. Randall eventually recovered and was released, but he would need to continue treatment for the rest of his life. Natalia said, “We wouldn’t have discovered the cancer until it was too late if we hadn’t signed up to foster. While learning Randall was sick was quite a blow, the health crisis confirmed God was there — opening the right doors for our family. If we hadn’t been following God, my husband wouldn’t be here.”
They also faced resistance from well-meaning friends. Since Randall already had children, people often told him, “You can’t love an adopted child the same way you love your biological children.” That mentality never stopped them.
One afternoon, they received a phone call from the agency asking if they’d be willing to care for twin babies that needed a home. “I about fell over,” Natalia explained. “Then I called Randall and he said, ‘We have to say ‘yes!’’” They spent one sleepless night preparing for the twins’ arrival, and then a second sleepless night adjusting the babies to their new surroundings.
Now that the twins have been in Natalia and Randall’s care for almost three months, Randall can’t imagine life without them. “I have the same amount of love for them as I do for my biological children,” he said. “God has a way of revealing a love so powerful that you don’t know how much you are capable of loving until you have the opportunity.”
The arrival of the twins has helped the family develop even stronger bonds. “The twins are teaching our teenagers, Mason and Jessica, to be selfless because they are serving in their own home,” Randall said. “Mason and Jessica love the twins. This experience has helped them focus more on others.”
Natalia encourages any couple experiencing infertility to attend the Embracing Hope retreat. “Go, listen, and open your hearts,” Natalia said. “Because of the retreat, I realized I was standing in the way of my own dream. Part of it was fear, part was anxiety about the chaos a foster-to-adoption might cause our family. Don’t be scared. Step out in faith. Prepare, instead, to change a life and for your life to be changed. I learned to never despair of a situation more than you trust in God.”
Learn more about the Embracing Hope retreat at saddleback.com/embracinghope.
Learn more about foster care and adoption at saddleback.com/orphancare.