A Lost Soul Redeemed

Several years ago, Rachel attended a Saddleback Celebrate RecoveryⓇ(CR) meeting and was given a blue newcomer’s chip with an engraved gold message: “My grace is good enough for you.”

Although she was initially unwilling to embrace the seed of hope she felt God planting in her heart that night, she held onto the chip. “I actually kept it in my wallet for four years,” Rachel said. “Every time I changed my wallet, I would move the chip. It was like a good-luck token or something. I had no idea that years later, this church would be my saving grace.”

As a young child, Rachel had been sexually abused. Years later, the shame and guilt caused by this mistreatment led Rachel to accept abusive behaviors as normal in her own relationships. Marijuana became her way of masking the pain and coping with her low self-esteem. After enduring years of maltreatment and battling addiction, that blue chip gave Rachel the courage she needed to change the course of her life.

“When I finally made the decision to leave the abusive relationship, I looked at that chip and thought, ‘I need to go back there,’” Rachel said. “I just felt that pulling in my heart.” Making the commitment to give Celebrate Recovery a serious try this time, she explained the plan to her son. “On Friday, it’s date night,” she told him. “You and me and Jesus Christ, Babe!”

The step-study program at CR helped Rachel break through the vicious cycle of abuse and denial. Instead of just talking about surface issues, CR helped her drill down to the core of the problem while building her trust in God.

“After a nine-year addiction, I’ve experienced the true high of a sober life,” Rachel said. “I’ve also been able to form a deeper connection with God while building lasting friendships.”

A significant component of the CR program is sharing your story with others in the safety of gender-specific small groups. “Hearing other women’s stories is so powerful,” Rachel said. “As a little girl, I always felt no one else was going through this; nobody else had a home that involved this stuff.” Rachel glanced down slightly as she went on to explain, “I mean, sexual abuse is not something people talk about. I didn’t know any kids who had my circumstances, and I felt like I was the only one.” By sharing with others, Rachel no longer felt alone and is convinced that God is using her to reach out and bond with others. “Now I know that God used my struggles to create a compassionate heart so I could help people,” she said.

Recently, a friend from CR invited Rachel to join a single moms’ Bible study. Once again, she felt an instant bond with the women she met.

“I got an immediate feeling that these people get me and understand my struggle,” she said. “We all have different circumstances, but it’s that unity that gives us hope when we feel like giving up. The struggle of single parenting requires a strong support system.”

Her growing connection with God has helped her other relationships, too.

“My addiction caused me to isolate myself,” she said. “But now I’m building genuine friendships and I’ve become a much better friend.”

Rachel would never have predicted the transformation God had in store for her life, or the impact it would have on her son. By taking steps of faith and building courage along the way, Rachel experienced God resurrecting something good from her pain. Her biggest blessing is watching her son’s faith blossom through his involvement with Kids Small Groups at Saddleback.

“My heart has changed,” she said. “I used to carry a lot of anger and resentment; and anyone who’s a parent knows that kids can try our patience.” Rachel’s eyes softened as she continued, “The healing in my life has given me the patience and grace to parent with consistency. Without the drugs, I’m more engaged and have a mental energy that I didn’t have before. Plus, I’m setting an example as a role model of self-care for my son.”

Rachel came to Saddleback as a broken and lost soul, battling anger, addiction, and depression. Today, Rachel is articulate and outgoing, with a strong sense of community and security — a living example of how God’s love can touch and transform a life.

“Celebrate Recovery got me through these church doors,” Rachel said. “And the relationships I’ve built keep me coming back.” God’s grace redeemed what Rachel thought was lost forever.

Click HERE to learn more about Celebrate Recovery. 

Click HERE to read more stories.