Discovering a God of Love

The war had left many people emotionally exhausted, frightened, and economically devastated. In the midst of the Iran–Iraq War of the 1980s, one mother found hope in the shape of a newborn baby boy. She had been told that she’d never have children, so little Bijan felt like a victory for their family that was worth celebrating.

In Iran, studying Islam and the Quran was mandatory, so once Bijan reached school age, he was educated in both. Even as a youngster, he had deep, unsettling questions regarding the religion. Because of Iran’s political situation, it was difficult for him to separate Islam in his mind from the Islamic government. Conversations with his parents, who were highly educated, nominal Muslims, didn’t quell his uneasiness. As he grew, so did his mistrust of the religion.

The more he thought about Islam, the more questions he had. But Bijan never received clear answers and was viewed with suspicion every time he asked about his faith.

His parents eventually decided to immigrate to the United States and worked covertly to acquire the necessary paperwork. To be allowed to leave Iran, they told officials they were taking a vacation to visit relatives. Once in America, the family put down permanent roots.

As a young adult in America, Bijan began assimilating, and his entire demeanor changed. “I felt free and light leaving Islam,” Bijan said. “In America, I felt free to be myself. I wanted to learn more about God here. I started dating a Persian woman whose father attended a Christian church every Sunday. I learned about Jesus Christ from him.”

After eight years in the U.S., Bijan began to suffer violent seizures that were so ferocious they scared both him and his girlfriend. A year passed without a diagnosis. Finally, a doctor determined Bijan was suffering from cluster headaches. This level of pain was intense.

“I felt like I was falling,” Bijan said. “There was nothing solid in my life to hold unto. This began a long struggle filled with pain, anxiety and lots of opiates. It was not a life. I married my girlfriend, but our marriage was rocky, and we even separated for a while. I couldn’t work. And my friends began to distance themselves from me.”

In Bijan’s darkest moment, he went into his boss’s office and broke down. Bijan knew this man was strong, smart, and had also had lived through some painful circumstances in his own life. Bijan asked one question: “How did you get from there to here?” The answer was unexpected. His boss explained he read the Bible every night, and over and over again, he saw God’s goodness is on display. And then, Bijan’s boss asked a fateful question: “Will you come to church with me this weekend?”

Bijan agreed and showed up at Saddleback. That weekend, Rick Muchow, whose music ministry blessed Saddleback for years, was being prayed over before a high-risk operation. Bijan noticed many in the congregation crying. He had never experienced such emotion within a prayer service. Then, Pastor Rick Warren asked anyone who had a medical condition to stand so they could also receive prayer. Bijan stood, and soon, he felt hands on his shoulder — people in the congregation were supporting him physically with their touch. He no longer felt alone.

“The feeling baffled me. Saddleback is huge, yet I felt such intimacy,” Bijan said. “I began to let go of all my anxiety. In the reality of my hardship and suffering, I felt I could grab onto Jesus Christ and he would never let go of me. I started attending because I wanted more of that feeling. Yet, as I attended and read my Bible, I realized Christianity was the righteous way. It was the only way, providing a direct connection to God.”

Other changes followed. Normally, Bijan went to the ER at least three to four times a month because of his cluster headaches. Since receiving prayer, he has only been once.

“The doctors couldn’t fix what was hurting most in me — only God could,” Bijan said. “I no longer felt alone. I had found peace. My wife noticed the changes, too. I couldn’t explain it to her other than to say, ‘I have 100 percent faith in God.’ Before, I had such fear about dying, but now, I know God has the power over death and he’s with me every day.”

During one of his stints in the hospital, a nurse suggested he get a dog because of some breeds’ ability to detect seizures. At first, Bijan was unsure. Growing up, he had been taught that dogs are “haram,” or unclean, but he eventually decided it would be in his best interest to try getting a dog. His dog, Shaya, has ended up saving his life, alerting his wife when Bijan passes out, and on one occasion, leading paramedics to his unconscious body when he had a seizure while alone. Bijan sees his dog as just another way God has shown up to help him.

“I now realize that one of God’s creations, which is so emotionally aware it can save my life several times over, should not be forbidden or unclean for any reason,” Bijan said.

During Easter services this year, Bijan heard the call for people to be baptized and decided it was time to respond.

“Throughout the service, I had one question swirling through my head: How can I show my dedication to God?” Bijan said. “When they announced baptism, I knew I had to get baptized that day. This was not an easy decision. In Iran, if you change your religion, the punishment is death. I would never be able to return. If authorities knew I was a Christian, family members still in country could be in trouble. Still, I was secure knowing today was the day I would be reborn. And even though I didn’t have any family or friends to witness my baptism, I felt like everyone there was my brother or sister.

“My goal is to learn more about God’s grace and implement Christian practices throughout my life. If you are aware of God, it affects every situation. My wife, my boss, and friends have all commented on the positive transformation in my life. I now know my Lord had to die for my sins. No longer fearing death, I now thank God for every second I’m alive. I’m stepping into this new journey with excitement because my life in all in his hands.”

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