How to do Small Group with Kids?

My wife and I have four kids, all under 8 years of age. Now every child is a blessing, but every child also compounds the craziness in life! So when we were looking for a small group we didn’t know how it was going to happen. We bring a lot of crazy with us, so who would want to be in a group with us? But over the course of a year, we met two other couples that also had four kids of their own. We grew friendships with them and then suggested we all form a small group together. They were all for it, but knowing we were going to have 12 kids in one house we needed a game plan. Our group is amazing. We’ve found a rhythm that works and everyone is happy with it (including the kids!). Let me share how we got our group to thrive.  

Know What You Want

From the start all parents agreed that we wanted our group to involve our kids. We wanted our kids to be involved in some way to ensure we were modeling healthy fellowship with them. This decision set the tone for how we’d approach the “childcare” element.

How to Settle the Kids

Although we wanted kids in the mix somehow, we needed to have time for the parents to discuss with each other without (too much) distraction. We thought of hiring a babysitter and having a different parent sit out each week and do a lesson with the kids. We finally landed on using the TV! Each of the families rarely have our kids watch TV during the week, so we found that a movie would hold most of the kids’ attention for about an hour. Infants and toddlers typically stay in the adult circle playing on the floor, but all kids over 3 are watching TV. It works.

How we do the Study

An hour is not a lot of time to watch a lesson, discuss and pray for each other. So we watch all content and reach chapters outside the group. We spend about 20-30 minutes discussing the biggest insights we drew from the study and 20-30 minutes sharing what is happening in our lives and praying for each other. It works great for us.

How we include our kids

When we arrive, the kids are immediately to different games the hosting family has set out for the kids. When we get started we begin by opening in prayer and singing one or two songs together. The kids then go to the TV and we discuss and pray. Afterward we draw everyone back to pray, sometimes do communion, and then eat lunch together. We always have a meal theme (tacos, pizza, etc) and every family brings a part of the meal. From the time we arrive to when we leave it’s about three hours.

How often we meet

We meet at least two times a month. One time is for the study, the other is a family outing to make intentional family time together, be it a hike, a park or a community event. For the study week, we ask everyone to make it top priority on their calendar. Because if we miss it, it’ll be two months before that couple is part of study discussion. So we all committed the second Saturday of every month to our study. The other meeting is more organic, and it usually turns out that we do a number of activities together through the rest of the month.

Encouragement to You

I want to encourage you if you have young children and are looking for a group. Pray that the Lord would help you discover the right people for your group. Others are out there looking for the same thing. Start friendships with other Christian families that you meet though different activities and when you feel chemistry will work, ask them if they’d be interested in forming a small group. I met one family through a ministry I volunteered in. My wife met the other family through an on-campus women’s study. One of the purposes the Lord has for us is fellowship. We need to wait and be watchful for potential group members; He will direct us to them.