Small Group Discipleship

The word “discipleship” might sound like a really complicated theological idea. Surely it involves lots of big and dusty volumes of books and lots of words that have to be looked up in the dictionary, right? The good news is that discipleship doesn’t require an advanced degree, to be a Pastor, or to have been in ministry for 30 years. Discipleship can be summed up simply as one person helping another person become more like Jesus.

Ephesians 4:12-15 explains our charge as Christ followers:

 "[We are] to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."

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God does not want us to only rest in our own spiritual maturity. He wants us to use our maturity to guide others along their journey as well. When we step out in faith and help another person become like Jesus, we are helping to build the Kingdom of God!

So how do we actually go about helping one another become more like Jesus? It’s actually quite simple. Discipleship is relational and it is intentional. For discipleship to happen in our small groups, all it takes is a little intentionality in our small group relationships!

Discipleship is relational

One saying that resonates with this idea is “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Helping another person become like Jesus means we meet them right where they are in their spiritual journey. We don’t meet them with judgment or criticism, but with love, grace and mercy. We become curious about their spiritual journey and honest about our own journey, including our struggles, sins and quirks.

Another saying I like is “People will respect you for your strengths, but will love you for your weaknesses.” True relationship requires honesty, first by knowing ourselves and then by compassionately investing in and learning the stories of others.

Asking good questions and listening well is a powerful way to engage others and deepen relationships in your small group. Listening well means first and foremost that we do not let ourselves get distracted when another person is speaking. Look people in the eyes and offer your full attention. Reflect what you hear back to them. Show empathy in your responses and tone of voice. Love them with a heart of compassion, just like Jesus loves us.

 As your group practices the art of listening to understand (not listening to respond), you will see relationships deepen and you will be able to start reflecting back to one another how you see Christ at work in each other’s lives.

Discipleship is intentional

As we lovingly engage with others, we earn the privilege to speak into their lives. This will take time, so start small. Be willing to go slow and be patient, but still help your group be intentional about moving forward on their spiritual journey. I had a spiritual director who would say to me, “We have all the time we need to accomplish what God wants to do in us today.” This saying reminds me that I don’t need to rush God’s process, and helps me be more patient as God steadfastly continues His good work of growth in me and my small group. As we are patient, we will start to see the moments that God orchestrates for our growth and the growth of people in our small group. And as we watchfully wait for and see those moments, we can help draw attention to them so that we can partner with God in His transforming work in our lives.

When we love our group members well, ask good questions, listen well and be patient, we can truly impact their lives. Belonging to a small group is a great way to experience being in the family of God. And the relationships within a small group provide an effective way to disciple each other. With a little intentionality, we can all help each other become more like Jesus.