Resource Details

Looking Back to Move Forward
Resetting My Life – Part 4
Milan & Kay Yerkovich
May 14–15, 2022

Three Essential Questions

After watching the message take some time reflect on the following three questions.

1. What did you hear? What point in this message was most impactful for you?
2. What do you think? How did this message challenge, change, or affirm your thinking?
3. What will you do? How will you put into practice what you’ve learned today?

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts; (ways of pain) and see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalm 139:23–24 (NASB)               

God made it clear, we had to look back to move forward.

Romans 12:1­–2 (NASB) says: “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice. Do not be CONFORMED to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

THREE SKILLS NEEDED FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

1. Did you learn a wide range of emotions so you can describe what you feel and what you need to yourself, God, and others?

This requires:

• SELF– Awareness: Curiosity and vulnerability.
• Did you learn to describe your inner SELF?
• Were you taught to communicate this awareness to others in a NON-REACTIVE way?
• Did you learn about the times your current feelings were fueled by HISTORICAL wounds?

• OTHERAwareness: Curiosity and non-defensiveness.
• Did you learn to put yourself in another person’s SHOES? Were you taught to REFLECT on their perspective?

“My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death.”          Matthew 26:38 (NASB)

GROWTH GOALS: Learn to use the SOUL words.

Anxious, uneasy, preoccupied, scared, hyper-vigilant, weighted down, shocked, traumatized, grieved, angry, irritated, abandoned, disconnected, unwanted, sad, depressed, betrayed, duped, misunderstood, ashamed, embarrassed, invisible, forgotten, unimportant, despised, shame, confused, exhausted, let down.

Action Plan: Get alone today and write down your thoughts that are running through you mind.  Take a moment to see which soul words most closely match what’s on your mind.

2. Did you learn to manage stress effectively?
   
   
3. How did your DAD manage stress?
4. How did your MOM manage stress?
5. Write down a specific stressful situation or event you recently faced.
6. Using the soul words list above, write down three feeling words you experienced because of this stress.
   
   

1.________________ 2._________________  3.__________________

1. What were your BEHAVIORS due to this stress? How did you manage the stress?
2. Managing stress well is learning to deal effectively with difficult EMOTIONS .
3. How did Jesus handle stress and difficult, uncomfortable emotions? (Matthew 26:36–46)

Jesus sought relational relief versus non-relational relief.

Action Plan: Thinking on the influence your family had on you, can you see any good intentions they may have had?  What advice would you want to give them today?  Take a good look at that advice and see if there is anything you can use from it.

GROWTH GOALS:

• Know your STRESS Confess to someone, ask for help and comfort.
• Recognize stress responses in spouse, friends, family. Invite them to share their feelings and how you may comfort them.

3. Did we learn to acknowledge ruptures and repair them?
   
   

• Do you notice when a relationship has suffered hurt?
• Can you apologize if needed and take responsibility for your part of a conflict?
• Can you INITIATE a conversation to restore peace and understanding?

GROWTH GOALS: Ask family members, “What is one thing you would like to change about me?” Or “Is there anything between us that needs repair?” Listen, don’t debate, apologize.

Action Plan: Review these materials for a deeper dive.

• How We Love(A Doable Discipleship conversation around “How We Love”)
• The Well: Prayer of Examen(Reflection on your day)
• Visit howwelove.com

Weekly Action Steps

We recommit our lives to Jesus Christ. Text NEWSTART (1 word) to 83000 or email newstart@saddleback.com for free spiritual resources.

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Listen to our “Doable Discipleship”, “The Well”, and “Found” podcasts from our Saddleback Growth team at Saddleback.com/learn.