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How do I handle a relationship with a destructive person?

Transformed people transform their relationships.

Two Big Questions to Ask:

1. What's the best path for my safety and health?

2. What's the best path for healing in the relationship?

Four Different Responses:

1. Remove or limit access.

2. Rebuild trust.

3. Reconcile connection.

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.Romans 12:18 (NLT)

4. Release forgiveness.

Matthew 18:21-35 (NLT)

ACTION PLAN: If there is someone in your life that has hurt you and you have not been able to forgive, spend time processing that hurt through journaling and prayer. Invite God to reveal to you why it hurt you and affected you the way it did, and give God your honest emotions and hurt over the situation.

Forgiveness is not . . .

• Trusting again
• Reconciling connection
• Excusing the hurt

Forgiveness is…

• Based on God's measure of forgiveness to me.
• An event and a process.
• The quickest way out of bitterness and into healing.
• Only possible with God's help and his mercy.

ACTION PLAN: We are given opportunities to practice forgiveness all throughout our week. As you go about your day, whenever you find yourself frustrated with or wronged by another person, take a minute to pray a prayer of gratitude for them. As you pray, remind yourself that they are a beloved son or daughter whom Jesus died for and thank God for one attribute of that person. Then see what happens in your heart.

Unforgiveness is . . .

• A refusal to release a person
• A prison that punishes your soul
• A poison that destroys your relationships
• A personal affront to the mercy of god

Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Hebrews 12:14-15 (NLT)

ACTION PLAN: If you have been holding on to unforgiveness toward someone specific, spend time each day praying for God to give you the strength to forgive them. Pray that God would reveal to you His grace toward that person, and pray earnestly for God's best in their life. When you are ready, and if it is safe, reach out and begin the conversation of reconciliation with that person, not just for the sake of restoring the relationship, but for the sake of your inner healing.